Will the wind ever remember
The names it has blown in the past,
And with this crutch, its old age and its wisdom
It whispers, "No, this will be the last."
- Jimi Hendrix
Robyn Colvin, a fitful sleeper at best, had made one final social media reply in the early hours of a July morning this week. Looking back on it now, she finds it fitting that that post had been sent in the hope of showing solidarity with a fellow sufferer of mental illness, one who had recently admitted to have had suicidal thoughts at the height of his struggles.
That final post was made from her phone before embarking on what Colvin has termed a life-changing experience? "We wear our struggles like a badge of honour. We are all warriors."
Just past 2 AM, on a hot and muggy morning, Colvin switched off her cell phone, resolved to get some rest. She thought she had heard some coughing over her squeaky portable fan, but according to Colvin, living on the 700 block of Lakeshore Drive on Lake Nipissing, with its numerous public accesses, produces all sorts of strange sounds throughout the night.
This sound was different, out of place. With her senses tingling, Colvin quieted her fan, and listened with an ear to the beach. This time the coughing was more clear, accompanied by two distinct words: "Help me."
Colvin, a school teacher and mother, did not hesitate, grabbing her cell phone and a pocket flashlight, she headed for the water's edge in her night gown. Hearing the woman's cries again, Colvin called 911 to report the situation.
Searching by sound in the blackness of night with her tiny flashlight, Colvin followed the distant voice to a point on the shore near the public access. There she found another small light, a woman's purse, a watch and an open half-empty bottle of pills.
"At this point, I said to the 911 operator 'I think this is serious,'" recalled Colvin.
With help on the way, Colvin remained on the line, following directions to call out to the woman still in the lake.
"The wind was blowing in from the lake, so she couldn't hear my voice. I kept yelling out 'Can you hear me? Can you see my light? Walk towards my light' with no response," relayed Colvin.
Some neighbours and a passerby arrived, having heard the commotion. An ambulance arrived, and Colvin then started to wade out into the water, still unable to see the woman.
The water in that part of the lake is shallow in spots, with many sandbars dotting the bay. Colvin continued to call out, with no response. The more powerful lights of the first responders were now shining beyond where Colvin had ventured, searching for the troubled woman.
Colvin, as is her good-natured way, was able to lighten the stressful experience, saying "I expected someone to come 'Baywatch' past me, but that didn't happen, so I kept going."
Now as far out as a neighbour's Sea-Doo lift, Colvin tucked her trusty cell phone on top, and entered the deeper water, determined to find the woman in peril.
Finally, fighting through the waves, Colvin located the woman, face-down. Colvin flipped the woman over, and held her against her chest. Reassuring the woman that help was indeed nearby, Colvin slowly floated the woman back towards the beach. A police officer had joined the search, and the woman was brought safely to shore and attended to by paramedics.
The officers asked the woman if the purse and pills on the beach were hers. She confirmed that they were, and Colvin overheard the woman say "I just wanted to die. When it started happening, I got scared and I didn't want to die anymore."
For more BayToday coverage on suicide awareness click here.
The woman's identity remains a mystery to Colvin, as does anything that transpired after her involvement that morning.
With her heroic actions complete, the adrenaline jolt turned emotional for Colvin, the relief expressed in tears, in the arms of a local police officer. To Colvin, the physical act of the rescue was complete, but the social concerns are farther reaching.
It should be noted, that Ms. Colvin did not seek out the media for this story, and only agreed to share her experience with the understanding that the identity of the woman she saved not be publicized, and that this life-changing experience be utilized to spread awareness about mental illness and the resources available to those struggling in our community.
If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts or mental health issues, help is available.
Saying that the ordeal has taken days to process, Colvin expressed "a great deal of empathy for first responders, who deal with this sort of thing regularly. It's a pretty tough thing to shake off."
"I don't believe in coincidences. It was a miracle, we are all miracles," reflected Colvin. "This woman who was in such bad shape, changed her mind, and I was able to help give her that second chance. (It was the realization) that at one point, this could have been me."
"Because I suffer from depression and anxiety, and I am very open about that, because I believe it is important to get rid of the stigma," Colvin has shared her experience. "If I had cancer, or diabetes, I wouldn't hide it."
As far as the woman that she carried back to the beach, Colvin said "I hope she gets the help that she needs. If she ever wanted to get in touch with me, I would be open to that."
"Robin Williams' suicide really affected me. If someone with that much money, and access to resources can't win against his demons, that's terrifying. Suicide terrifies me," an emotional Colvin said.
One comment made by Ms. Colvin that stood out was her claim that getting the woman to the shore was difficult because "I'm not that strong." To a troubled woman in Lake Nipissing, and the sufferers of mental illness for which she advocates, that is quite opposite of what they see.
