Dear Justin: Just want to confirm that we are BFF. Canada is great. You are a good guy. Like the hair. That thing about trade deficits was Fake News. I was joking.
Dear Don: Yeah, I thought it was just buffoonery. GOP meeting et al. Don’t worry about our small trade surplus. The new NAFTA will take care of that. We are still BFF.
Justin: About the steel and aluminum I personally will grant an exemption. Until our steel and aluminum mills get going. More discussion then. Do you have any extra Bauxite?
Don: No bauxite to spare just now. You could try Cuba. We are working on a new aluminum deal with China. Just saying.
Justin: Hey, good-looking French guy, how can we make ourselves great again if our BFF don’t stick with us. Gotta be on the team, Justin.
Don: Mais oui, Don. That’s Canadian for ‘of course’. We still have your six.
Justin: I don’t follow. Is that a hockey term? You have our six best players? Please use football terms or even basketball lingo.
Don: You should talk to your Generals about having your six. Do you have any left or have you fired them all? Who’s going to lead the Parade? That’s a little humour to brighten your day, Don.
Jussie: Okay will speak to McMasters. Oops, he’s gone. Sure makes you feel good - firing a General.
Donnie: I wouldn’t know. I just get them to apologize. Don’t you think that was a little low having your puppet fire that FBI guy just before his retirement?
Jussie: Just good business. Look how much money I saved. For the people. I just tweeted Kelly and asked him about that six thing. You got my back?
Donald: Canada has always got your back. The Great Wars, Vietnam, Korea, Iran - remember those people our ambassador got out of the embassy. Rex even mentioned that to me.
Justin: Rex - great guy - just didn’t work out. Oh, yeah, saw part of the movie, but what about Iraq? Like George Dubyah said - you are either for us or against us. I made a note of that.
Donald: Not to lecture since I know you don’t like that, but that argument is not valid. In the case of Iraq, we simply thought you were wrong. Still do. We did go into Afghanistan with you and had your six there.
Dear Justin: Hey, no need to get your dander up. We still have the world’s longest undefended border. No walls, just border guards. We would never do anything to change that. Mexico, yeah but that’s different. Murders, Rapists, illegal aliens.
Dear Donald: Okay, got it. D’accord. However, some of us still remember 1812 when we kicked your butt. Ha ha.
Dear Justin: 1812? Don’t think I ever heard about that. Wait, yes I remember that song about the Battle of New Orleans. Guess we whipped YOUR ass.
Dear Mr. Trump: Better get someone to look that up. Who burned Washington? Anyway, water under the bridge. We’re still BFF. Still got your six. At least as long as there are no new trade tariffs.
Dear Prime Minister: Hey, are you threatening the greatest power on earth? Watch it, little guy with the hair.
Dear President: Sorry, I was taking a page from that book - ‘The Art of the Deal’. You should read it. I hear it is a big seller in Russia right now.
Dear Little Captain Canada: Don’t mention anything Russian. The FBI will be taking notes again. Can’t trust the FBI. I love the FBI. Good Guys. Gotta go and brief Sarah what to say about my tweets. That gal is quick but she needs my help. Remember, BFF.
Mr. President: 10-4 on that from the Great White North. BFF.
Justin: Hey, I like that. How about ‘Still making America and the Great White North GREAT Again’ for 2020?
Dear Don: Sure, okay. With our steel, aluminum, wheat, oil, softwood lumber and cheap labour it might just work. We will buy your finished goods, cars and gasoline.
Dear Justin: Way to go kid. You want to go to Mars with us? Never would have happened with crooked Hillary. We could be BFF on Mars. Eh? Just saying.
Dear Don: Mais oui. See you on Mars.
Sheesh.
