Life can be challenging and full of setbacks. These setbacks can affect a person’s overall well-being and create feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. The Community Counselling Centre of Nipissing (CCCN) wants people to know that there is support available and that hope makes all the difference.
What causes setbacks?
Setbacks can vary from person to person and include unfortunate events such as job loss, the breakdown of an important relationship, being denied a mortgage application or a job opportunity, or even poor grades the end of the semester. These challenging situations may lead to negative thinking. How a person interprets their setbacks can set the path towards negative thinking or a mindset of resilience.
For many, negative self-talk is an automatic reaction especially when life gets challenging. Most people do it without even thinking. Noticing this thinking is hard; challenging the thoughts is almost unthinkable and seems impossible. For visible minorities and those with disabilities, experiencing repeated injustices or closed doors can be especially hard to escape the pattern of negative thinking.
Examples of negative self-talk
There are many examples of the negative thoughts that can run through a person’s head. Though not an exhaustive list, here are some common ones:
- “I’ll never get through this”
- “Everyone is out to get me”
- “I’ve tried everything, and it still didn’t work out”
- “It’s just too hard”
- “Why am I left behind when everyone else is getting ahead?”
- “I’m not enough; I’m unworthy; I’m unlovable”
- “My life is ruined; I might as well give up!”
- “I don’t belong here”
How to deal with negative self-talk
Over time, negative thinking can become more than just fleeting thoughts. They can become pervasive and dominant. Sometimes, negative thoughts can come in storms or cycles that lead to a downward spiral. This is especially true when a person is feeling tired and overwhelmed.
Therapists often point to ‘negative self-talk’, also known as Automatic Negative Thinking Styles (ANTS) as a barrier to overcoming problems. Believe it or not, it is possible to suffer from sleeplessness, depression, digestive problems, headaches, irritability and many other symptoms simply by believing the negative messages that come into your mind.
The most important thing to remember is that while we can’t control what happens to us, we can control our thinking.
Those actively looking for solutions are much more likely to succeed. Unfortunately, being proactive and finding solutions can be difficult when a person is experiencing discrimination, hardships or trauma. It is also hard to be solution-oriented when surrounded by others who are also prone to negative thinking.
Finding a way out of difficult situations and the negative thinking pattern goes beyond simply switching to ‘positive thinking.’ With that said, reality based positive thinking puts gas in the engine to at least try. People who think about overcoming, thriving and getting out of a rut are more likely to try new ideas and pursue new opportunities. A person must have the ability to visualize a better future in order to actually get there.
CCCN Therapist Manon DuBois can relate and says, “I am inspired every day by the resilience I see in my clients. I hear stories of violence, abuse, nightmares and devastating consequences. People speak of coping skills they’ve adopted to get through. The depth of strength is unimaginable.”
If you need help overcoming negative thinking or visualizing a better future, CCCN may be able to help.
Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re right.”
Please call 705-492-2508 for support or visit www.cccnip.com.