Theo Fleury, NHL Stanley Cup winner and Olympic Gold medal winner was in Timmins on Friday to give two presentations.
In the afternoon Fleury spoke to Timmins High School students about meeting life’s challenges, drawing on examples from his life.
The talk was titled “Don’t give up before the miracle.”
“My attitude was that no one was going to out-work me whether it was as a hockey player or today as motivational speaker,” emphasized Fleury.
“The knock against me was that I was too small to make it the NHL,” Fleury said. “But when I looked into the mirror I saw someone who worked hard and was resilient.”
Fleury candidly spoke about the problems faced as a child and teenage hockey player which later lead to serious addiction issues during his hockey career and into his post-hockey life.
Fleury said all of us have suffered some trauma in our lives.
Connecting with others who have suffered trauma is important because you realize you are not alone.
For Fleury, his past traumas resulted in his contemplation of suicide and went as far as putting a loaded gun in his mouth.
“To go from that to where I am today is a miracle,” he added.
He realized he was not trying to kill himself but to stop the emotional pain he was suffering.
He said he realized that he was not trying to killing himself but to stop the emotional pain he was suffering.
Growing up in Russell, Manitoba with parents who were both addicted to drugs Fleury said he learned anger, fear of being abandoned and that he was unlovable as a child and that lesson continued into his adulthood.
Fleury told students in the hushed auditorium that he had been sexually abused 150 times by his junior coach Graham James.
James, who was earlier convicted of sexual abuse of team mate Sheldon Kennedy, subsequently pleaded guilty to abusing Fleury.
“Childhood trauma is the biggest epidemic on the planet,” said Fleury.
Be honest with yourself and open to others about what you are going through, he counselled the students.
“Your story is important and if you connect with others that person is not alone anymore,” he said.
In 2009 Fleury told his story in his book Playing With Fire.
The book helped him realize that he was not alone in being sexually abused.
A young man who was having his book signed looked at Fleury as he was signing the copy of Playing With Fire and said “Me too, me too.”
“That guy gave me permission to be me,” said Fleury. “I finally realized I was not alone."
That guy gave me permission to be me. I finally realized I was not alone.
Fleury said he has had 500,000 people utter those words to him through social media.
“What I thought was rare was actually a common thing in the world,” he said.
Fleury who now views his struggles with mental illness (depression and anxiety), addiction and the sexual abuse he suffered, as a gift with which he can help others.
Fleury counselled students who have experienced trauma to look inside themselves for the answer.
“If you are looking at the answers outside of you will never find them,” he said. “It starts with loving ourselves.”
Fleury said he said we all have miracles waiting to happen.
For him the miracle was that after being unable to sleep for 27 years after he was sexually abused he finally is able to lay his head on a pillow and sleep.
After his talk several students approached Fleury and they shared some of their stories.
One student who was moved to tears was given a hug by Fleury.
Despite his accomplishments as an NHL player Fleury told the students his greatest accomplishments have occurred off the ice since he retired from hockey.
"I won Stanley Cups, gold medals but my greatest accomplishment is helping people,” he said.
I won Stanley Cups, gold medals, but my greatest accomplishment is helping people.
He stressed the value of education.
"Education gives you choices".
He encouraged students to do well in school and to be the best that they can be.
He said author Malcolm Gladwell’s claim that one had to practice 10,000 hours to excel at something.
“Whether its’s hockey or math, English, biology it is all about practice,” he said.
You also have to be determined in pursuing your goal.
Don’t settle for a C when you can achieve an A through hard work.
Fleury was invited to Timmins by The Timmins Falcons midget girl’s hockey club to speak at the Dante Club on Friday night.
The funds raised from the dinner and through a silent auction will be used to purchase gym equipment for schools in Fort Albany First Nation.
