There are days in everyone's life that stand out from the others, days worthy of celebration.
August 18th is one of those days for Matt Thorpe. This year on that date, Thorpe celebrated 29 years of clean and sober living,
Addicted to drugs and alcohol, he took his first drink at the tender age of 12.
"The first time I drank I got drunk. When I took my first vodka and orange juice drink with two friends of mine, three things happened to me. I grew 10 feet tall, six feet wide, but I wasn't afraid anymore. That's why I did it because I was so traumatized and so fearful inside. Drinking gave me that false courage, that liquid courage that helped me get through."
Thorpe says one of the things he had to do on his journey to recovery was getting honest.
"You can't shift things you don't acknowledge. I'm crystal clear today on why I felt the way I did, why I thought the way I did, why I did what I did. My mother walked out when I was 14 years old, leaving me with five brothers. Everything I felt in my life around love, by the time I was 14, was abandonment, pain, violence, betrayal, being let down. So I filled my suitcases full of those experiences, and out into the world I went."
Thorpe says it took 20 years to hear his mother say the words he needed to hear.
"She said, 'I didn't leave you boys, I left your father.' I fell in love with my mom again."
Thorpe runs his own conflict resolution company. He recently returned from Madrid, Spain where he was on the world stage, sharing his own struggles and his approach to recovery.
He explains that there are many layers to recovery, that there are no shortcuts. The hardest part is reaching out for help.
"It gets tough before it gets better. I was so afraid. The doors of AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) was the last doorstep for me. Everything else was gone, everything. And one of the things I never, ever, want to experience again, even on a good day, is despair. Knowing what despair is like and knowing that people live with it every day and the way they try to get rid of it is to keep drinking, keeping doing drugs, but when you come out of it, you've got more despair. I never want to experience that ever again. Once you start looking under all those layers, and having the support to do it as well, and stay with it and don't quit, you will recover."
Thorpe says people living with addiction need to stay on the road to recovery, no matter how bumpy or how many curves there are along the way.
"Don't ever quit. I've had years of tough days, but you've got to clear that out. Don't B-S yourself because you're having a glass of wine or bottle of beer because I want to relax, I earned it. I have a book of excuses, but here's the thing also, if you have to do something that shifts the way you think and feel, you've checked out. My message to everybody is, don't check out."
Thorpe has the words 'don't quit' tattooed on his hands as a daily reminder of his journey. He was one of many presenters to share their personal story at North Bay's Second Annual Recovery Day gathering over the weekend.
The Canada wide event raised awareness about addictions and the need to reduce the stigma that goes along with it, by hearing the voices and seeing the faces of those who deal with it on a daily basis.
"So people don't have to hang their head in shame, and really celebrate the fact that they're in recovery," explained Wendy Prieur, North Bay Recovery Day Committee Chair.
"The journey of recovery is different for everybody, and we really want people to be proud and to really start to reduce the stigma around people who are suffering from addiction.The great thing about an event like this is all of the service providers, mental health and addiction are here to help people, give guidance, give support. Every step you make along the way, there's someone here to support you. Nobody should be judging anybody on their own individual path to recovery."
September is Addiction Recovery Awareness month.
"There's an opioid crisis everywhere. North Bay is no different than any other community, " said Prieur. "So it's time that people really start to recognize that it's not happening to somebody else or something that's happening in a big city. The problem in North Bay is the same as everywhere else."
Jessica Behnke, who works with Addictions and Mental Health Ontario, says people are struggling every day.
"In terms of government-supported programs and services, there's definitely not enough being done. Across the province wait times for residential addiction treatment are months to years depending on where you live and what you need. So I think definitely we're not doing enough," said Behnke.
"The government did make an announcement at the end of August for $22 million over three years for the opioid crisis, and $7 million of that is for addiction treatment over three years, so there's definitely a recognition that we're not doing enough."
Jocelyne Gagnon, is the Residential Program Manager at North Bay Recovery Home, a 90-day residential facility, which provides support to people suffering from addictions and are looking for a change.
"Everyone has a unique story, but the similarity is the remorse, the shame, the regret, the guilt, the hopelessness and the helplessness shared by everyone who walks through the door. Once they start peeling away the layers, their true self comes out and they have a chance at a better life and a chance to become the actual person they could have been all along, but because of the life situations and traumas, that was taken from them without knowing ways of coping," says Gagnon.
"Breaking down the stigma means being open-minded and compassionate to human beings. People suffer from all kinds of situations in life. I think listening and being non-judgemental is so important. We get to see the human being that develops. What I've found over the years is that people who suffer from addiction are usually caring, sensitive people who wear their heart on their sleeve."
