Robert, Julie, Ray, Meghan and John are set to celebrate, remember and fight back Friday.
The theme for North Bay’s 9th Annual Relay for Life is ‘celebrate, remember, fight back,’ and ‘Paula’s Patriots’ from Cecil’s Bar and Eatery have taken the theme to heart. On Friday they plan to have an 80 member team up at CFB North Bay lining the track in hot pink t-shirts and walking in the memory of their loved one.
On April 1st beloved wife of BayToday’s Arts and Entertainment Editor and matriarch of Cecil’s, Paula (Lechlitner) Palangio, went to her physician to check out her leg and inquire about a bit of a nagging cough she had had for a few weeks … that cough quickly spiralled into the worst news imaginable … cancer.
“She went to the Doctor April 1st with a cough and he sent her right up for x-rays,” explains daughter Meghan Palangio.
“And on April 5th is when all the test results came back, that was a Monday. I was at school in St. Catherine’s I came home the Tuesday, took my mom to Sudbury on Wednesday and that is when we found out Wednesday/Thursday … so April 5th is when she was told there was a mass in her lung, and within three days we knew everything that was going on and she passed away May 1st.”
Palangio said the exact cancer diagnosis came on April 15th where Paula learned it was not treatable and was given a year to live.
“She has a mass in her lung and I thought okay no big deal they’ll remove it,” the young Palangio recalls.
“I’m coming home from St. Catherine’s for a couple of days (I said to myself) as it was Easter weekend so I thought oh I’m not missing school and I’ll come home and help out whatever.”
“When my dad asked me to take her to Sudbury I just thought they were going to do some tests and no big deal,” she states.
“Then when I was in Sudbury they showed us all the x-rays and said well she’s got cancer everywhere in her brain, liver and her lung is gone and I just ... well what I thought actually is I didn’t sign up for this -- what the hell.”
At that moment the Palangio/Lechlitner family was in a tail spin they hadn’t been truly hit by cancer previously so it was a crash course in learning what it was and how to move forward. Emerging from the black cloud and with Paula’s guidance the family was determined that they were going make the best of the time they had left together.
“We thought okay she’s got a couple of months and then when we were told by her doctor that we have up to a year ... she had such a positive attitude ... she was going to fight this ... ‘there is no way this is going to beat me,’ typical of my mom,” Palangio says during a raw candid conversation with BayToday Tuesday.
“It was when we were told she’s got a year everybody breathed a sigh of relief ... oh okay slow down and gather and figure out what is going on now and then move ahead … and then three weeks later that was it.”
“It’s not fair but we’ve all come to the realisation that maybe it was better that she didn’t have to suffer cause how fast it do go that would have been a long, long year.”
Reeling with the reality that she had a year to live, Paula started making a list of things she wanted to do. Topping the list was attending her son’s graduation at Chippewa and right under that was participate in the 2009 Relay for Life. Palangion says the relay is one list item she could check off for her mom.
“Ray (workmate and friend) actually called me the night my mom passed away and said what can I do and I said you can keep the Relay for Life going cause I still want to do that.”
“From there I said you can take over the relay because that’s a promise that I made to my mom that we would do, so I said I need your help to fulfill that promise at this point and that is when it took off.”
“So between Ray and Julie that first weekend, because she passed away on a Friday night, they had collected money from everybody here and they made about $500 just from the staff ... they all just said here’s money. Originally they were going to buy flowers for us at the funeral home but my dad said no because we have allergy issues and we were like why not put the money to start off the relay.”
The young Palangio explains that the importance of seeing the relay through to completion isn’t important for her alone and is more about the greater community her mother influenced especially her Cecil’s staff and the Thunderbird Swim Team
“They’ve all volunteered to do that for her,” she notes.
“She affected their lives so now it is something they can do back for her because of what she did... she is the one who put the idea in our heads -- when she first got sick she said you know Meghan everybody is looking for something that they can do for me and she said there is nothing people can do for me but I would love if you guys did the Relay for Life.”
“It was just something that really affected right at home, it wasn’t hard to get people involved either ... we had started the Relay for Life team shortly after she got sick and then it was such a fast period of time and ...”
Palangio says her mother was a strong woman and that is what she is drawing from in getting to Friday night.
“That is something that I try to apply to our relay team and everything along the way was just her strength, and how she would have done things is how I wanted this done.”
“Nothing done half assed, everything done 130% cause that’s how she would have done this ... she’d be mad if we didn’t do it.”
“And that’s the thing I wanted ... to do this for her not only because she asked me to but also just to do something for her that would make a difference in community.”
Palangio says she is overwhelmed by the support she and her family have received from the community and that includes the Canadian Cancer Society.
“Like I said I had never been affected by cancer before I guess I was naive to it all ... I wouldn’t call it ignorant but I didn’t really know where the Cancer Society was or what they did, I had heard of the Relay for Life and that kind of thing but never affected me, it never hit home.”
“When I walked in there they just straight up offered condolences and then asked what can we do for you,” she recalls.
“They are really great people and a great society that is doing what they can and the best they can for such a huge disease ... that affects everybody.”
Friday night is all about celebrating Paula’s life but the young Palangio knows there will be some tough moments along the way including the survivors lap that her mother intended to walk, but she says the adopted team motto will help her past those points. In fact she says the motto is also the one message that applies after cancer takes a loved one.
“It is actually the epitaph on her crypt ‘Life is changed, not ended.’ And that to me is ... yes she is gone but we can still make a difference in her honour ... it’s not over even for her.”
“With the relay that’s the motto that we decided on, even though she is not with us physically -- spiritually she is. And I know she is looking down on us throughout the whole process and she’ll be there Friday night.”
There is no doubt that the Cecil's matriarch would be proud of her crew as Paula's Patriots have surpassed their fundraising goal of $10,000 and to date have raised $17,334.30.
Opening Ceremonies get underway at 6:45 pm followed by the Survivor Victory Lap at 7pm.
