Wii Plex

On Christmas day, I was introduced to the wonderful world of Nintendo Wii. My grandnephews had a direct line to Santa and they were soon waving wands at this magical box and having a great time. Always a fan of technology, I was persuaded to try it; the youngsters no doubt thinking this old fogey would be easy prey. It took a minute or two to get the hang of the buttons but having thrown a few fastballs in my day, I soon had them whiffing at knuckleballs and missing breaking balls (we used to call them curve balls). Bowling was a cinch and my six-year- relative was soon whimpering in the gutter. Playing Wii tennis was like the table-top version of the game and I can still wield a paddle.

Resting from all the exertion, my brother-in-law and I recalled olden days when we actually picked up a ball and a bat and chased fly balls in a field outdoors. Walking to an outdoor rink, shovelling the snow, playing shinny hockey for an hour or two and then helping the caretaker flood the rink before walking back home was our idea of a great time. That we had no protective gear other than a pair of Dad’s leather work mitts seemed to be all that was needed and caused no alarm bells to ring at the local Health office. Come to think of it, we had no such office as people we supposed to look after their own health and welfare. The suggestion of wearing a helmet while tobogganing would have brought strange looks indeed. Maybe some kid somewhere would one day run into a tree and do cranial damage, but we knew enough to miss that big old maple at the bottom of our hill.

But back to today and this latest technology. I only experienced the sports games but I understand there are many other games that one can play on the Wii. Computer games, other than Flight Simulator and Bass Fishing have never been more than a quick pastime on a rainy day for me, but I see some potential for this new version of games in the Wii world. I expect the Mayor is away ahead of me on this, and in fact, maybe already be bargaining to host the world control centre for Wee World in the Secure Underground Control Kingdom.

Instead of building expensive Sports Plexes that are costly to maintain, all a city needs is a number of Jumbotron screens placed around the town. Players simply bring their Wii wands, register their Wii IP address and play games on the screen. Instead of building a baseball diamond, complete with seating, fences, grass and in-ground watering systems, all you would need is a place for nine players and a batter to wave their wands at the screen. By pushing a button, the wand can become a catching tool or a throwing tool. Teams could play a virtual game by exchanging places on the pad or in the room while the game is shown on the big screen. This allows children (and adults) of all ages and abilities to join in the fun.

Instead of running about on an expensive soccer pitch, players would simply Velcro the wands to their feet and by running on the spot, twitching a toe, or kicking the air, can play Wii soccer. No more tennis courts, no need for expensive ice sheets – just access to the Jumbotron and your Wii wand brings the world to you. Forget about buying helmets, gloves and skates!

But the real beauty of the Wii Plex is that there will be no need to travel to far off places for tournaments. By connecting through the Secure Underground Control Kingdom, a team in Sudbury could play a team in North Bay. Through the wonder of the internet and wireless communication, SUCK would allow teams from around the world to play Wii games. Not only would teams earn carbon credits by not travelling, but because their Wii IP number is linked to their debit or credit card, the cost of supporting the technicians in the old Sage site would be easily recovered. In fact, local teams would not have to travel to the Wii Plex to play – all they have to do is sign on from home and join the fun. If you can work from home, why not play from home?

One of the neat features of the Wii game is the ability to design your own persona. Think of the advertising opportunities if your player could wear a Nike jersey and every time you won a game on the nationally broadcast game from the North Bay SUCK centre, you received a payment from the sponsor! (Payments would be filtered through the NB SUCK Accounting centre – located in office workers’ homes throughout the city).

The possibilities seem endless. City workers could meet at Tim Horton’s with their shovel-wands and fill potholes while drinking their coffee. Repairing a watermain break might require the crew to assemble at the Wii Plex to coordinate the work, but the interactive robots doing the work out in the cold would respond to the Wii wand of their master just as if the wand-waver was on site.

Virtual reality - isn’t it great? Already, as I am typing, I have received an update from the Mayor approving his Whee Plex as fulfilling an election promise. There has been a suggested change in the name of the underground site to Secure Underground Control Centre for Electronic Security and Storage. I concur.