The Beautiful American

We watched the old Marlon Brando movie on TVO Saturday night, and although we had seen it before, The Ugly American was worth a reprise. It is a movie that should be required viewing by all the Presidential candidates before each US election. Not that you need to see Brando mishandle his pipe ( I suspect he never smoked one before or after the movie) and relighting it while it was still smouldering and emitting smoke was something an editor ought to have caught, but Brando gave a good performance. If the Presidential candidates have a problem understanding the book / movie, Andrew Coyne and Brian Johnston could enlightened them with their review of the movie.

The 30 plus-year old movie tried to show how American foreign policy was failing – hence the title – but the US State department seems to have ignored the message. The scenario has played out a number of times since the days of the fictional Southeast Asia country and continues in the Middle East as well as in Southeast Asia. Come to think about it, it may even be happening here in Canada. No, Stevie would not go along with American foreign policy. Maybe he would embrace their economic policy, health care, war on drugs, environment, education and penal systems, but not foreign policy!

Perhaps the most telling part of the movie was the ending clip where we see Ambassador MacWhite on television explaining to the folks back in America just what went so wrong. As soon as the Brando character begins to question US policy, the viewer (and hence the movie patron) turns off the TV. We (the American viewing audience) simply do not want to be told that we were wrong. Was there a similar disconnect with Iraq? Afghanistan? Central America? Alberta?

Reading a blog by one of the American political pundits the other day, I had to smile at one comment by an American who wanted CHANGE. (That is the new buzzword for the Democrats, a word that seems to be in every political campaign, no matter the country.) He said he was damned tired of being talked down to by Canadians! Whoa, Nelly, I said to myself.

I, for one, am quite happy with the Americans and would never talk down to them. Okay, let me adjust that - I am quite happy with the American dollar at par. I mean to say, if the Americans can so mishandle their money so it becomes less valuable on the international market, that is their loss and my gain. In their God-inspired zeal to bring democracy to the known universe, the Americans are right. Brando aside, they know what is best for all of us. Every country should have free elections where the party that has the voting machine company in their back pocket will win every time. The war machine (read Cheney& company with friend Shrub onside) are bleeding the country dry of funds and young men and women, but it is still the American Way.

This fluctuation in currency could happen every winter and I am sure few Canadians would talk down to their winter hosts south of the 49th. Talk to any Canadian swinging a club in Arizona or sunning on a Florida beach and they will tell you Americans are beautiful! Sure, it makes it hard on our forest industry, but hey, people – take a vacation, give the trees a break, get out of the deep snow and go to the beach while you are on lay-off. For those who cannot afford the trip over the border, enjoy the American-style shopping at Wal-Mart and any one of the thousands of other American-owned businesses that flourish in our fair land. You too can eat burgers and tacos, drink coke and dress like a beautiful American.

Admittedly, you cannot buy a car made in Canada at the sticker price they sell them for south of the border, but that may eventually change when we get tired of subsidizing the Americans with cheap cars that burn our Canadian oil. It is part of our foreign policy to ‘help’ the Americans to a better life using oil – sort of like the Americans who were helping the poor fictional country in The Ugly American. We currently ship them cheap Canadian prescription drugs and some of our people out in BC are working on getting the Americans a better grade of marijuana. We already have the Blackberry market tied up and are working on the blueberries and cranberries.

To that one Canadian who is talking down to his American buddy, I say give him a break. And by the way, compared to George W, Hilary is beautiful!