Running for Office

(A Disraeli Club Report)
Thursday is scotch night at the Disraeli Club. Tuesdays we drink martinis, but on our other meeting night, we celebrate the coming weekend by drinking a fine scotch. Nickolas, our bartender, selects a different brand for us and we sample, sip and make notes on the fine ambrosia that comes from the highlands. Pierre had been the first to arrive and already had a glass at hand. It seemed that Nickolas had already primed him for this evening’s conversation.

“Did you see in the newspaper that some of the councillors are already campaigning?” Pierre asked us.

“Yes, and that a couple others are not running this time. I also heard that the mayor is going to stick around for another term or two,” Alice answered. Alice gets the paper hot off the press, part of her job as a government lawyer to see if anyone is threatening to sue the government or if she should be laying charges on some misdemeanour committed by a citizen in a moment of rashness.

“Didn’t the mayor say he wanted to stay for 20 years?” asked Jonathon, repeating a popular misconception based on a brochure circulated during the last municipal election.

Nickolas arrived with our glasses and the bottle of Old Grouse, a rather ordinary scotch that he thought deserved more recognition. Personally, I found the hint of vanilla a little strong, but by the second serving, that had disappeared. Nickolas wondered aloud if any one of us would be running for municipal council this year. It seems most of us had a good excuse not to put our hat in the ring. Working in the health care sector, I would never want to be in a compromising situation over hospital funding, nor party to the on-going war between the local Health Unit and Council. Pleading a conflict of interest, I was removed from the list of potential candidates.

Geraldine is a retailer and has a history of fighting city hall about downtown parking. We all thought that she should be working from the inside and thus get us more free parking in the core, although we finally admitted that maybe the parking was not that bad now. But Geraldine was worried that she would lose customers if there were ever a controversial vote. No matter which side one takes on a tough issue, one will always offend someone. She simply could not afford to lose any customers, business being as tight as it was right now.

Jonathon said, “Don’t look at me. Council deals with so many real estate matters that I would forever be excusing myself from debates and votes. Do you know how often those people go ‘in camera’ to discuss property matters? No, I don’t think I could do a proper job on council.” We argued that having someone with property development expertise was sorely needed on council if we were ever going to get this city moving, but Jonathon would not budge. “Besides,” he said, “this city will grow just like all the others – it is simply a matter of population growth – continuous growth drives our economy. I took that in night school.” Frederick mentioned that we should have left the old population sign alone, but we had hashed that one out before. I had to agree that Jonathon might have problems with council. He is not in favour in in-filling, but rather building vertically to increase population density. Our town is still into horizontal development.

“What about you, Frederick,” I asked. “Selling cars can not be as sensitive as Geraldine’s business downtown. Why don’t you run for council?” Well, it seems that selling cars is politically sensitive. Did we know that many veterans would not yet buy German, Japanese or Korean cars even though the cars are assembled in North America? Did we know that he had to take down the Toronto Maple Leaf banner because a potential customer said he would never buy a car from someone who supported the Maple Laffs! No, like Geraldine, he thought any retailer would risk losing too much money by being on council.

Nicholas came by with a dish of bread sticks and when Alice questioned where the mixed nuts were that evening, she was politely informed that one would surely never eat an almond with scotch, would they?

“What about you Alice?” I asked. “We could use a lawyer on council to avoid some of the costly litigation and severance settlements,” We spent a few minutes reminiscing about the time we had three lawyers on council at the same time. Those were lively days in chambers. We raised a silent toast to the memory of the irascible Dick who was the bane of misspoken word, procedural bylaw missteps or unfinished deed. Yet Dick was never the same after he had to fill in as mayor. Maybe it takes a different kind of cat to be a mayor.

“As far as I know, I do not have any conflicts, although I will have to check my civil service contract. I agree they could use a lawyer on council, but there is another problem I would have – getting elected.” We all decried this, saying that her volunteer work in the community, good education, ability to speak well in public, and being the mother of an outstanding scholar would stand her in good stead. If it was a matter of money, Jonathon said he could help raise some of the $2,500 needed for campaign funds.

“No, it is just that we already have a fairly good representation of women on council. I think that if there were any chance of electing a majority of women to council, voters would cast their ballots for the men candidates. I could do more harm to the other women candidates than you might think. Besides, I cannot make a 4-year commitment just now. I would never ask people to vote for me knowing that I would not complete my term.”

Sadly, we all came to the realization that we are not as far along the path to equality as we like to think. Where the media describes a man as being passionate about a cause, a woman would be fanatical or hysterical in her speeches. Where the media would go on and on about a women politician wearing a nice fuchsia outfit, they would hardly ever mention a mayor’s lack of imagination in ties. The ‘old boys club’ still existed in the town, and even our own little group had a majority of men members. We admitted that we would not want to lose the present mix of females on council so Alice was excused as a possible candidate.

This left only our investment consultant, Pierre, as a potential councillor. To our surprise, he was not worried about losing customers, but how soon he should start campaigning! Should he use lawn signs? Is it too soon to put up a billboard? Should he align himself with other candidates to form a slate? Should he open a campaign headquarters or work from his home? Should he be a single issue candidate or have a wide and diverse platform? So many questions, so little scotch.

My cell phone buzzed and I was reminded that there was a soccer game at seven-thirty that I should not miss. When I left the Disraeli Club they were drafting campaign slogans. For once, I was happy to have a cell phone.