PC2RC

The title of this column may look a little cryptic, but if you have been following the news lately, you will quickly recognize it for what it is. It is the latest personalized licence plate to be rejected by the clerks at the Ontario Ministry of Transportation. While my application for the plate was to show my thoughts about Politically Correctness to Religious Correctness, the pencil-pushers at Queen’s Park thought I was a Progressive Conservative who had converted to Roman Catholicism, neither of which is the case, and would be completely unacceptable under the new rules for a car plates.

It seems that some professional religious folk have had their calling inscribed in code on their license plates in past years. This practice of sending messages about the driver or the car via a license plate has often provided much amusement for us on long trips. Some people have been very creative and kudos to anyone who can have a laugh while paying the fees for a personalized plate. But REV JO has been banned. Apparently, a person of higher learning at the MTO (I hope those initials are still PC/RC) thought the Reverend Joe was challenging those people with big mufflers on small cars to Rev up their engine and – well I admit I am not up to speed on the street racing lingo – but JO must mean Go!

Another, I am certain, well-meaning cleric had ‘faith’ hidden in a code of letters and numbers on his plate and it too has been refused renewal. The sad thing is that we are paying somebody to make these decisions. On second thought, maybe this clerk is simply a little more aware of the danger of coded messages on car plates. He or she may have heard the news out of Sudan where a school teacher got into very serious trouble for letting the kiddies in her class name a teddy bear after ‘the name which cannot be said’. (Now I understand Rowling’s use of Voldemort in the Harry Potter series.) It was a silly mistake to let the children name a toy bear after the prophet Mohammed and she should have known better. But 15 days and 60 lashes? However, can you imagine your kindergarten teacher allowing children here to name a teddy ‘Jesus’?

It is seemingly acceptable to name your boys after the prophets, for in their lives they will surely not do anything to bring shame to the holy name, but you can just imagine the trouble a stuffed teddy bear will get into and bring shame to the prophet? I remember how my brother’s stuffed racoon got into so much trouble when it was eight years old that Mother had to throw it in the washing machine! Washing out its mouth with soap was not enough punishment, but bouncing around in the clothes dryer certainly resulted in a much less rambunctious racoon.

However, it may be small step from being a fanatic in the religious sense to being one in the MTO. Any combination of three 6’s will soon be struck from the presses at MTO to appease the Christians. No doubt there are sacred numbers and letters in Hinduism and Buddhism that must be avoided for Religious Correctness reasons. Already government clerks at the Ministry of Health are searching out the hidden meanings in the fortune cookies made by factory monks who are all too careless in quoting Confucius, another prophet.

Perhaps I should not be too hard on the MTO. Their diligence may save some poor innocent from offending a Muslim cleric in Saudi Arabia or Sudan. Who knows how long it will be before we feel the wrath of religion here in Ontario. Already I am making up a story for the Ministry of Transport official who tells me I must remove the Darwin Fish from my car. Oh, well I guess it was politically incorrect anyway.


(A note to readers who still give presents at this time of year – for whatever reason – copies of Perspectives (the book) are available at Gullivers’ in North Bay or on the internet. It makes a nice seasonal gift for those who prefer a paper book for bedtime reading.)