Girl Bags Big Buck

My initial feeling of disgust at seeing the photo of a 12-year-old girl and a dead deer was only amplified by the accompanying article in our local paper last Thursday. What set of values were her parents and grandparents teaching a young girl when they lure a beautiful wild animal out to a pile of food and then ambush it with a shotgun? They trained the deer to come to a safe place to eat and then one day they wreak havoc on it by mortally wounding it with a shotgun slug. What were they training this young woman to do? What set of values did the newspaper display to the world by publishing the article? Well, maybe we are a little more sophisticated than the folks from Deliverance country. . . the article did mention the benefits of taking the MNR Hunter Apprenticeship Safety Program.

Aside from the seemingly unusual use of a telescopic sight on a 12 gauge shotgun used to shoot a large animal 15 meters away, the whole thing seems surreal. Too bad our local paper did not have the YouTube video to accompany the shooting – graphically showing the painful, bleeding-to-death of a stupid deer would have garnered a large readership count. It would have been almost as good as Balloon Boy. That the deer had lived about ten years before falling prey to humans might indicate some intelligence on the deer’s part but, by God, we human were given dominion over all creatures! It is in the Book.

Well, as you can see, I calmed down upon a little reflection. The social mores being taught the youngster are just the tools she will need as she grows into the adult world. Chumming deer is no more than advertising or luring a customer to your business. The old ‘bait and switch’ routine has been a success story of sales people since we first swapped hides for food. We do not use a 12 gauge on our customers but we may ‘wound’ them buy sucking them into a scheme that leaves them licking their financial wounds for years. Need a house or a car you cannot afford – don’t worry, we’ll look after you! I have half load of asphalt left over and I can do your driveway . . .

With the training given the girl by her guardians, she will soon develop that callous thick skin needed to be a Bay Street banker or stock market junk bond peddler. With a little more grooming, she might one day turn into a lawyer or a politician. I jest. At least she is getting outdoors and breathing some fresh air, not hiding away in some basement room playing endless video games where you can shoot as many ducks as you want with your Nintendo gun and never spill a drop of precious blood. Blasting space aliens or even enemy humans in Call of Duty would seem like child’s play after downing a real, living 11-point buck.

I wonder, Rochelle, in the years to come, will you some day wish you had used a Nikon with a telephoto lens instead of the Remington with the telescopic sight to capture your deer? It’s okay to answer – I’ll never tell your Dad and Grandpa.