Ghosts of 1951

What we wanted to do was scare the hell out of old ‘Fire and Brimstone’ Hodgkin’s, the United Church minister. After last Halloween, F&B had lit into all the young people about the atrocious things we had done, assuring everyone that these children of the Lord were going to eternal damnation if they didn’t change their ways. A number of us were grounded by parents who agreed with F&B, hence our desire for retribution.

The Halloween prank that had disturbed the minister so much was that we had taken one lawn ornament or flower pot from each home in our little village and exchanged it for some one else’s. We thought it great sport but the twenty or so homeowners who had to visit all around the village the next day claiming their sometimes rather tasteless figurines did not find it all that amusing.

I blame the Halloween pranks we tried to pull on my uncle Gordon, may he R.I.P. He would set new limits for us by telling of the things they did on Halloween when he was young and living in Restoule around the time of the Great Depression. Taking apart the Model T of the grumpiest store owner in the village and reassembling it atop his flat store roof was away beyond anything we could do.

And the story of how they took a wagon load of turnips from a known miser and distributed one turnip at each and every door in the village was a gem. The old miser would have only reinforced his reputation by going around house to house and asking for the return of one turnip! We worked on a version of that masterful prank by trying to get the pumpkins out of farmer N’s field the previous year but when he appeared back-lit in his doorway with what looked like a shotgun, we quickly gave up that idea.

The senior boys did their annual upsetting of outhouses but these wooden privies were becoming scarce as people in the village installed indoor plumbing. The previous year one family decided to move their privy on the last day of October and the senior boys did not know this because they attended high school in town. The old pit had not been covered over, and in the dark of Halloween night, two of the high school boys fell in. We younger pranksters had no desire to push over outhouses after that.

Uncle Gordon recalled for us the time they hoisted the school principal’s chair up the flag pole, but Barney, the school caretaker, was always on duty Halloween night so we stayed clear of the school. Besides, we liked our teacher and it was old Fire and Brimstone we were after.

The idea of how we could wreak our revenge came to us during the 24th of May weekend. Fire crackers were available at anytime back in the 1950’s and even twelve year olds could buy them, not knowing then that they were too dangerous for kids. We had discovered that the Flamingo Fountain looked like a real fire when it spewed its red sparks into the air. We were already very familiar with the giant crackers that sounded not unlike gun shots as they exploded in a chain reaction. We pooled our quarters and bought two Flamingo Fountains and a large package of crackers.

What we wanted to do was to set off the Fountain just outside F&B’s window and when he ran outside, to throw a string of crackers. And then run like hell! Halloween could not come soon enough.

The four of us were sworn to secrecy by serious oaths* but as Halloween approached someone told Tubby about our plan. Tubby was not really a part of our gang, being new to the village, but once he heard of our plan, he was all for joining us. It may have had something to do with Fire and Brimstone’s rant just before Thanksgiving about gluttony, but we didn’t ask. The problem was that Tubby could not run very fast or far, but secretly we all thought if anyone was going to be caught by F&B or the village Bylaw Officer, it would be Tubby, not us.

The last week of October that year had been unseasonably warm and dry. It is the time of year when tall grasses are crisp and dry, a fact totally lost on us as the great night approached. We held two practise attacks, getting our stomach crawling down to a science as we wormed our way towards our chicken coop. With our planned costumes of soldiers with darkened faces, F& B would never see us coming.

On Halloween night we made the ‘trick or treat’ rounds with all the other kids, collecting candy, apples and cookies. When the little kids had left the streets we hid our stash of treats behind the pile of rink boards and got out our bag of tricks – two Flamingo Fountains and a string of giant fire crackers.

Most people in the village turned out their lights as a signal that trick and treat time was over, so it was no surprise that the manse was dark as we made our way towards Fire and Brimstone’s house.

The plan was that one of us would place the fiery fountains under the window; another would use the lighter to ignite the fireworks. Two others would hide beside the door and light the firecrackers when Tubby gave the signal that F&B was coming to the door. The five of us bellied through the grasses around the house to our appointed places. The fuse was lit.

What happened next is still under dispute. The fact that F&B wasn’t home had little to do with Tubby getting scared and yelling that the minister was coming to the door. The crackers were lit and thrown, everyone ran like the proverbial bats from hell. There were the loud bangs of the crackers and then nothing. Except that the Flamingo Fountains seemed to be really putting on a show.

As we lay in a ditch we realized that the fountains ought to have burned out but there was still a lot of light and smoke coming from the side of the house. Since there was no sign of the preacher, we stealthily worked our way back to the house. All that long dry grass was on fire, licking at the sides of the wooden house.
There was some expressed desire to run away but it was Tubby who said we had better put out the fire. So we ran to the manse and began stomping on the burning grass. We had the fire almost out when the Bylaw Officer arrived in his truck. He had a shovel with him and the fire was soon extinguished. He, of course, wanted an explanation.

Tubby immediately said we saw some high school boys smoking as they walked by the manse and he thought one of them must have thrown a butt into the grass. This was quickly confirmed by the rest of us. The Bylaw Officer took off in his truck to catch those miscreants. We were quick to leave the scene but only after we remembered to pick up the shells of the Flamingos. The five of us took another oath* before splitting up and heading to our homes.

That next Sunday Fire and Brimstone called the five of us up to the front of the church. What our folks thought was embarrassment was a look of sheer fear on our faces. It seems the Bylaw Officer knew who we were, despite our Halloween costumes, and told the minister. But to our surprise F&B said we were examples of young heroes, the hope for the villages’ future, young men who risked personal danger to put out a fire caused by sinful, careless smoking teenagers. Smokers who were surely going to hell and suffer fire and brimstone for eternity!

What we had planned to do was scare the minister, but the result was that we now knew we had fooled him completely, a superiority of knowledge that would stand us in good stead whenever F&B went into one of his rants. It was a good Halloween.

* Childhood oaths expire after 20 years – Bill’s Statute of Limitations