Coffee Companions

It may be time to give up my coffee companions. I am not referring to Fred, who only wants to talk about his arthritic knee and potential prostate problem, nor Jack who is only happy ranting about Stephen Harper, Brian Mulroney and Mike Harris. Heaven forefend anyone starts him on John Diefenbaker! I am not referring to Buddy who still thinks the Maple Laffs are going to win the cup. As predictable as my friends are, they still are good coffee companions.

How could anyone start their day without that cup of coffee and a chat amongst friends at the local Timmy’s? As you may have guessed, we cover all the foibles of the medical cartel, from the $10 offer to leave made to the ER people at the Soo, to when the Regional Health Centre will admit its first patient. There is a rumour the Mayor will give the Keys to the City to that person if they survive the wait. This is akin to giving the Order of Canada to the last surviving WW1 veteran. Fred hopes his prostate can wait until then.

And what would a day be without getting into the nitty-gritty of Federal politics? With the Provincial election campaigning already underway, it seems voting is as frequent and regular as bus service to the OH up on the hill. But I have noticed lately that Jack is easing off on Harper as Stevie uses more and more Liberal ideas. It may be that he does not catch every word that Dion speaks, partly from his new hearing aid, but I suspect it is the shades of Jean Chrétien’s garbled language that has him worried about Dion.

Being a closet Senators fan, I get to poke a lot of fun at our eternal optimist, Buddy, and his team from Toronto. Heck, I think the last time the Leafs won the cup George Armstrong was playing – and nobody remembers him! No, a good day starts with a lively discussion with my coffee companions.

The coffee companions I am thinking of dropping are those mentioned on a recent radio advertisement. I was shocked to hear the smooth-talker on radio saying how we should really consider having a Coffee Companion with our mid-morning coffee break. He suggested a bagel with some cream cheese or perhaps an apple fritter. For the afternoon coffee, he said we should consider a dutchie or a cinnamon donut. Even a chocolate chip cookie would be a good Companion for a latte.

As soon as he mentioned latte, I knew he was not touting for Tim Horton and I breathed a sigh of relief. It turned out I had an American station on the car radio and this hack was trying to sell Coffee Companions to some inferior brand of coffee that the people south of 49 drink. We have our own obesity problem here, but the Americans seem bent on putting on excess weight. If Al Gore’s Inconvenient Truth told the story about the environment, Supersize Me laid it on the line for the fast-food industry.

It seems few people are listening. Or maybe they are and a drop in the sale of things gooey and sweet may have prompted this advertisement. It is one thing to have that bagel and cream cheese with your morning coffee if that is what you call breakfast, but to have any of those baked goods during the day with your coffee has to be stepping away over the line in the dietary circles.

Old Doc Grouch told me that the drug companies have now decided that we have to get our cholesterol down under the 2.0 mark, so Doc want s me to cut back on all things delicious. So I guess my coffee companions are going to have to go. Not that I was ever a Double-Double person, but I may have to go back to drinking it black. This, like good tea, is the only way to drink our hot beverages. Adding milk and sugar may disguise the taste of low-grade coffee, but the true aficionado would never do that. It is like putting water in your scotch, for heaven’s sake!

So the next time you stop at Tim’s or Country Style and you see all those Coffee Companions on the shelves, leave them for some under-weight customer. Your other companion will love you for it.