2 Minutes for PC

The recent media attention given to the hockey player who complained about referees several years ago is a good indication of how far we have slipped down the path of Political Correctness. Not many of us who ever played the game never complained about the referee or linesman – make that linesperson – in terms that reflected the heat of the moment. Perhaps if Shane had said the officials were provincially biased and visually challenged because they had missed the fact that one of the opposing team had sent one of their players non-accidentally into a horizontal position or that the said player was uniquely coordinated and was a self-paced, factually unencumbered dolt, the whole thing would have been forgotten by the next whistle.

Unfortunately, Shane supposedly called them Frenchmen and some people thought this was racist and intended to be derogatory. He may, in fact, have been admiring of their heritage, for who gave us French Fries, French’s Mustard and French Kissing? Indeed, we all know that people from Quebec have a strong hockey heritage and we would never question their skill on the ice when they have a stick in their hands. A whistle may be another thing, but questionable calls by officials, racially challenged or not, are part of the game.

I suppose we will eventually get all the racist and demeaning terms out of our vocabulary but it takes time and sometimes these things slip out before we can catch ourselves. It is good to know that our politicians are eager to jump into the fray and straighten us out when we make a mistake. Because they are often interviewed and quoted, politicos are more conscious of the terms they use. People who can no longer see are not blind, they are visually challenged; bald people are follicularly challenged; fat people are differently weighed; old people are gerontologically advanced; and most voters are intellectually impaired.

We will have to get used to telling the story about the Rabbi, Priest and Minister who walk into an establishment that serves liquid refreshments that tend to make you spatially perplexed using different terms lest we infer that one of them should have been a cleric of some other faith and by exclusion, offend the Imam or Monk. I am not sure how the jokes would work with “three clerics walked into a …” The jokes about the Newfies have already been changed to include Labradoreans but those fun-poking tales lose something when your audience thinks you have introduced a shaggy dog into the story. Still, you have to wonder about people who would name their province / territory after dogs.

Much of the political incorrectness can come from taking things out of context. When I first heard about, and then read Don Imus’ comments about the African-American women’s basketball team, I thought he had gone away over the line. But if you saw the tape of the game and heard his actual words, what he was saying was that this team was an awesome opponent, and he said it in a complimentary tone. Not being an African-American rapper but a melanin-impoverished radio host, he used the wrong words for his audience. It is just as well that this rustically-inclined, socially-misaligned, genetically discriminating, selectively perceptive idiot is off the airways.

Someday when we all have the same religion, the same education, the same skin colour and the same economic station we will be able forget about political correctness. We will have forgotten our cultural heritage and country of origin. We will all be dressed in the same robes and headgear, all have a dog and not a cat for a pet and none of the females will be blonde. Speaking the same universal language there will be no chance of misinterpreting one another – even in a game of hockey. Until then, be sure to consult your politically correct dictionary or you may end up in the Politically Correct penalty box like Shane Doan.

Nice hat-trick, Shane!