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"We are the two sparrows," missing St. Charles man said of his love for his wife

"Eventually we went on our first date, and he took me to his brother's cabin at Sparrow Lake."
smellie, bob fishing 2016
Bob Smellie doing something he loved. Photo by Katie Smellie.

Katie Smellie prefers to remember her life with her husband Bob, and his suicide this week as a love story, rather than the end of a life.

Mental health and the tragedy of suicide is not new to her.

"Both my father and brother committed suicide," Katie told BayToday.

She hopes speaking openly about it will help get rid of the stigma, "Because I think that's the main reason why Bob hid his inner feelings from me." she said.

See: Wife frantic to find missing husband.

"​Even though I appreciate everyone's condolences, I would prefer if everyone could celebrate his life with me. He was a good person, would do anything for anyone. He always put myself and everyone else's needs first before his own. 

"I think being recently retired, having skin cancer, and then having back problems that could leave him paralyzed was just too much for him. For an active person, this would be a lot to handle. I know it would be for me. So, lets celebrate his life and know that he is at peace now.  I know he's with me and always will be. We fought like everyone else, but at the end of the day we truly loved each other. I wish he would have taken me with him." 

The two of them didn't have much, but they had each other.

"In 2000 we met online. It used to be called WebPersonals way back when." They married two years later.

"Skeptic me did not want to go out on that freaking first date even though we spent, I think, six months cam-chatting back then.

"Eventually we went on a first date and he took me to his brother's cabin at 'Sparrow Lake' . From the minute I met him I knew he was for me. We went fishing and caught our dinner. That night we had wine on the floor in front of the fireplace, and that was it.

"His first comment to me was 'We are the two sparrows'.

Then his mom died six months after.

"He took that real hard. I remember basically kidnapping him and took him out to his brother's cabin again. There, he was able to get a grip on life, so to speak.

"We have been together ever since. He made it very easy for me to fall in love with him, not just by how he treated me, but he took my son Joe Bernardi under his wing and loved him like any father would love a son. For a step dad to get along with his stepson like those two did was not normal. Those two trusted and loved each other like there was no tomorrow. They were, and had, a father/son relationship not a stepfather/stepson relationship. Joe had his own mental issues from his biological father and Bob helped him struggle with that without judgement. Now Joe has a good job with GM and has a full life."

Joe agrees that meeting Bob was a a huge turning point in his life.

"Bob changed my life," he remembers. "When I was growing up I was always getting into trouble. He helped me by taking me in, helped me find a job ,always drove me to work and home from work, even if he had to get up two hours before his own shift. I loved him like a father and I will always miss him. He was a good person and didn't have to die like that."

Need helpCanadian Mental Health Association

See: Bell, Let's Talk.

And now a friend has stepped up to help by setting up a web site to raise the $2,000 needed for Bob's funeral and related expenses.

See it here: Bob's funeral Expenses.

There is also a Facebook page in Bob's memory.

Like many couples, they had "their song". Hear it below.

"Like two sparrows in a hurricane,trying to find their way.
With a head full of dreams, and faith that can move anything.
They've heard it's all uphill, but all they know is how they feel.
The world says they'll never make it, love says they will.

It’s confirmed that buildings and iconic landmarks in cities such as Hamilton, Oakville, Burlington and Toronto will be lit green for the 65th annual Mental Health Week May 2 to 8.

Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) branches urge more businesses and organizations across Ontario to partner in this project.

Visit www.greenformentalhealth.ca for more information and an ongoing list of illuminated buildings.

Individuals can also take part by wearing green or taking pictures near numerous landmarks illuminated green throughout the province and sharing them on social media using the hashtag #GETLOUD.


Jeff Turl

About the Author: Jeff Turl

Jeff is a veteran of the news biz. He's spent a lengthy career in TV, radio, print and online, covering both news and sports. He enjoys free time riding motorcycles and spoiling grandchildren.
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