Anyone living with the disease of addiction knows that it is a hard fought battle, and at no point can they let their guard down.
The intent behind the 3rd Annual Recovery Day was to offer hope, to celebrate the role recovery plays in an individual’s life, and to reduce the stigma around addiction.
It’s that stigma that initially kept Colin Deutekom from seeking help for his addiction.
His journey to recovery began as a resident at the North Bay Recovery Home, where he stayed for three months.Within weeks of leaving, Deutekom relapsed. As he continued to struggle, the Recovery Home made it clear that he still had the option to return.
“I think a lot of it was the stigma I had toward addictions. I grew up in an alcoholic home. I started using at a very young age. I was about eight or nine years old when I started using alcohol and drugs. By the time I was 27, my mother had passed away from drugs and alcohol, and I was homeless,” said Deutekom.
“I think one of the biggest barriers for people to get into treatment and start recovery is the stigma, that fear that they’re going to be judged or they’re not even aware that options exist. I saw the glorification of drugs, the easy money, the lifestyle, but I didn’t see all the behind the scenes stuff. And I think because of that stigma and because it was something taboo, you don’t talk about feelings, I didn’t realize there was a world like this in recovery.”
He is thankful for the chances he has been given.
“There’s a lot of gratitude and emotion because they gave me an opportunity not once, but twice. What they gave me was something I didn’t have which was opportunity, hope, and faith. All things I was lacking at that time in my life.”
Deutekom is going on four years being clean He is getting married next September, and is hoping to one day start a family.
“After my first year of recovery amazing things started happening. My relationship with my dad and step-mom has never been closer, and my nieces and nephews. I have friends I couldn’t even ask for. And even three years later the House has given me another opportunity of employment, and they’re helping me with schooling. What they’ve done for me, words can’t describe how grateful I am. They gave me an opportunity, and now I have the gift of giving opportunities to others, to change their lives forever.”
He feels a sense of empowerment having successfully completed the program, but acknowledges he can’t take anything for granted.
“They restored hope in me, faith in me, and taught me how to love myself again, and made me realize I am really worth it. When I left the second time I stayed in North Bay, and I did all the things I needed to do the first time. I changed one thing, and that was everything. I changed everything. I have this disease of addiction, and I have to decide how I am going to live with it and what am I going to do today to manage it? When it’s getting uncontrollable, I go to the people that I need to help me.”
Hundreds of people attended the event in various stages of recovery, along with those looking for a way to start their journey.
“We actually have somebody who came today just to reach out for help because they`re not sober today, but they want to be. It’s wonderful that they’re here. We also have people who have completed a residential abstinence-based program, and they’re here as part of a support group,” said Wendy Prieur, Recovery Day committee co-chair.
“It really creates an awareness that addiction is a disease, and it’s not by choice. Addiction has no prejudice. It could be your doctor, your lawyer, your neighbour, your parent, your child, or it could be the homeless person down the street.”
Service providers in the addictions field took part in panel discussions, and individuals gave testimonials about their own personal journey into addiction and how they came out the other side.
“When you’re out there, and you’re the person that’s suffering, hearing the story that’s somebody else’s journey and what they went through, really provides hope to you,” said Prieur.
Lorraine Restoule is a recovering alcoholic. Her message to anyone struggling with addiction is not to lose that sense of hope.
“Don’t give up. It gets better. I’ve never been this happy in my whole life. I’m involved in the community a lot. I do a lot of volunteer work, I volunteer at the jail. All my siblings are back here now, and I think that’s the main thing that helped me because I didn’t have any family with me when I lived out east. I was alone. My family is my biggest supporter.”
Restoule’s drinking got out of control when she was in her early 40’s.
“My husband took my kids from Moncton back to Ottawa, and I almost lost my job because I didn’t want to get up, I just drank. That was when I realized I needed help, that I was losing everything.”
She continued to struggle with her addiction over the years, moving from province to province. Eventually, she limited her drinking to weekends to keep her job.
“When I retired, I moved back here, and that’s when I decided that I needed AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). I wasn’t going to drink the rest of my retirement. And if you have a family member that is suffering also, know that you can do your best to help them, but you can’t save them because it’s very hard. I find it very hard.”
The pain and suffering of addiction goes well beyond the addict.
“It is a huge ripple effect. We say one in five people suffer from the disease of addiction, but it’s pretty much one in two suffering when you look at all of the people who are surrounding that one individual,” said Prieur.
The day wrapped up with a ceremony lighting up city hall in blue and green, the national colours reflected in the Recovery Day logo.
The colour used to identify addiction itself is silver.
“That’s why we have our silver ribbons. It’s because there’s always a silver lining,” said Prieur.
“Instead of always talking about the despair part, it’s really about helping to pick people up, because every cloud has a silver lining.”
