"I have to stay strong," Ouellette says

Dinnertime has become much quieter at the Ouellette household, Nicky Ouellette says.

Ouellette lost her husband Gerry and her four stepchildren two weeks ago in a car accident on Hwy 11 north of South River.

She held a news conference Wednesday at North Bay city hall to thank the community for its support.

While she read from a prepared statement, Ouellette also agreed to answer questions and talk about how she and her two children are coping.

Magnitude of the tragedy
As difficult as it was for her to come forward, Ouellette said she felt compelled to offer a public thanks.

“I just found that all the support and everything that everybody has done was above and beyond anything that was done for a funeral,” Ouellette said.

“People were here for us, and now I want to be there for them.”

Ouellette said the magnitude of the tragedy has affected her unlike anything she’s ever experienced.

“It hit me hard, trust me, this is not another little thing in my life but it hits me harder at night when everything’s quiet and the phone and the doorbell stops ringing that’s when I start feeling the worst.”

Absolutely wonderful
Ouellette said she also has to worry about her two children Taylor and Naomi.

“They’ve been just absolutely wonderful, but if I break down they break down so that’s why I have to stay strong all day for them,” Ouellette said.

“And the things that my daughter has done... she turned 12 on the Friday of the wake and she made the picture board at the funeral, she wrote a poem, which was a surprise, she was doing everything that needed to be done and even I couldn’t even understand where she was getting the strength from, only being 11 at the time.”

Still dinner time to deal with
The children appear to be coping, Ouellette added.
“They’re good, they went to school the Monday after because they felt the need to be with all their friends and that kind of helped them more,” Ouellette said.

“Sitting at home with mother all day long is not going to help them get over what they need to get over what they have to get over.”

But there’s still dinner time to deal with, Ouellette, and that’s when the family’s loss is most underscored.

“Our house is quite quiet when you’ve gone from eight people to three people. We all used to sit at a big table now we’re sitting at a small kitchen table, and supper takes 20 minutes instead of two and a half hours, but my kids are doing quite well and I’m very proud of them.”

Ouellette said she will seek counselling when things settle down.

She finds it difficult going places and having everyone stop her.

“I know people are looking at me saying ‘that’s her, that’s the wife’ and I know it’s because they feel bad for me,” Ouellette said.

“The sympathy is there, but it’s just hard seeing a new face for the first time and having to go through all the emotions, and breaking down and crying, and they’re trying to be strong for me and some times that’s difficult.”

To read Nicky Ouellette's comments about Hwy 11 four-laning
click here.

To read baytoday.ca's editorial on this issue click here.