I must have dozed off for a couple of seconds the other evening as we watched the CBC news report on the upcoming election.
My mind was on the translating of the election vows, nay promises, perhaps wishes, or more likely whimsy that the candidates were using to confuse us. In my mind’s eye, I saw Lewis Carroll and heard his Jabberwocky poem. It was making sense when I opened my eyes and saw to my dismay Justin talking to us as if we were the three little girls on a boating trip. Charlie Dobson would have had a girl, a boy, and a gender-non-specific child were he writing Alice in Wonderland today - or running in a Federal election.
Alas, Justin is not the only one talking to us in jabberwocky. Here are a few phrases and words to watch for because they do not mean what you are being led to believe.
“Tax the wealthy, especially the Banks and Telecom companies” has been the cry in many elections, mostly by the left-of-centre parties, but as an accountant I can assure you that despite the attempts of any government to get their hands on the loose cash that the wealthy have, it ain’t gonna work. There are loopholes, write-offs, reserves, contingencies, allowances, deferrals, referrals, shell companies, and if that isn’t enough, there are lawyers and accountants to find more loopholes and tax havens. Not to mention lobbying, influence peddling, and bribery. Pure jabberwocky.
“Free childcare, or subsidized care, or supplemental funds to Provincial child care, or $10 per day/ per hour/or a child tax credit or for those without children and those whose chicks have flown the nest, a Hallmark thank you card from your MP.” And if you can figure out which party says what on this issue, you are a better man than I, Charlie Brown. The one thing you can be assured of is that somebody has to pay for this, but then if we can pay for all the Covid expenses with our imaginary money, go for it.
“Climate Change” had to be jabberwocky talk for something to do with us polluting the environment with plastic, carbon, and too many people but these long-range plans or dreams are about as nebulous as picking the number that we are going cut by 45% in X years to meet some accord, written in jabberwocky, in Paris a few years ago. Maybe we just did not understand the language of Carson, Suzuki, and Gore even though they spoke and wrote in recognizable English, not the jabberwocky of Trump, Kenny, and their league of deniers.
“Homeless, Helpless, and Opioids” are themes on the election trail but seemingly unsolvable problems that have been with us long before the writ was dropped. (Dropping the Writ sounds like jabberwocky but it is actually a term borrowed from the era of the Magna Carta when the Brits wrote in olde English: “draw up”).
The catch is that these issues mostly fall under Provincial jurisdiction except when a provincial election is called and the responsibility is thrown back at the Federal government under the guise of funding. Should Long Term Care move to the Federal responsibility which makes some sense as it is the Feds who pay old age security and supplements to the elderly and when they become homeless because of health or poverty or have no children who will house them? It would make the bookkeeping easier if the Feds looked after everything.
We need to get Big Pharma onto fixing the drug overdose problem. Surely they can come up with something that gives a person the buzz, relief, forgetfulness, or whatever (there has to be a jabberwocky term for whatever causes people to do drugs) that is not lethal. Of course, there will always be those who would not accept the help they need because they have the right to do so. Nonetheless, it is good that the candidates are raising the issue so we can clearly understand this.
“The Deficit” and the circus act of “Balancing the Budget” are pure jabberwocky. (See my explanation above about accounting). Money is an imaginary thing whose value is represented by numbers, both real and imaginary (negative, meaning you are in debt; positive meaning go out and spend more), and the Federal Government, of whatever political stripe, will promise to fix the books based on continual economic growth and Reganomics that never did work.
Consider whatever the candidates say about money as fictional jabberwocky.
It is enough to make a person want to vote “None of the Above”, at least doing that will ensure our Charter of Rights and Freedoms so we can ignore national health issues and other civic duties.
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"
