I have nothing against a well-trimmed beard. I have even worn a beard myself. I do not favour those wild facial growths that one sees on the D Dynasty, but sometimes a full, bushy beard is a good disguise or cover for facial flaws. Your beard, Tom, is always neat and tidy and suits you. However, I fear that the beard makes too many Canadian voters uneasy and unless you do a major trim, you are not going to be our next Prime Minister.
I see very little wrong with your politicking. This from a middle of the road Liberal thinker who has given up on voting for the Federal Liberals for the time being. Almost as corrupt as the Ontario Liberals, the Feds under Chretien and then Martin left little room for honest voters to mark their X. Then they tried that ‘egghead’ for a leader and now it seems we have an ‘airhead’ leading the charge against the Harperites. (Justin: you are no Trudeau!)
We disillusioned Liberals have little choice but to turn to you, Tom, to lead us to a safe, rational and at least somewhat honest government.
Here is the plan: start with good trim - about a two centimeter length. This will be enough to raise the awareness of the Parliamentary Press core from their lethargy. Next week, bring the clippers closer and come to the Commons with what looks like you missed shaving over the weekend - something similar to what one sees the younger men wearing to avoid attracting a female. You know, that scruffy look. Then the next week use the Gillette and bare all.
Tom, if you need any persuasive help at Stornaway, I can drop the Missus a note.
Beards may have been the facial covering of the day in the past two centuries but they have since slipped away from the world of politics. A good moustache can still be found in political circles but Herr Hitler really put an end to that - excepting your predecessor, Jack, but he never made it all the way to 24 Sussex. Take for example the Big Three - Obama, Putin and Merkel - not a whisker to be seen. That’s the look I want for you, Tom: clean-shaven, honest as the day is long, Prime Ministerial.
And here is the bonus, Tom. After you win the election in October, you can join the Movember fund-raiser and let your facial hair grow. Canadians like a good fund-raiser. And who knows, the Missus might like your nice smooth face . . . and you may have to shave again in December.
