Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, fresh off a rehab session, has declared that racoons are a serious problem in his city. He has even admitted to personally having a stand-off with a racoon; however he did not elaborate if this happened before or after rehab. The masked marauders are not only tipping over garbage cans and tearing screen doors in search of snacks but they are chasing children and small dogs.
The racoons are not only messing up garbage but tearing up lawns and ripping their way into attics all around the city. They have more rights than people, says one councillor. Well maybe in Toronto, but not up here in the far north. Of course we must take this breaking news with a grain of salt, after all it was Torontonians who had to call in the army to clear some snow a few years ago, and last year when the power went out and they did not know what to do with freezer food, they were reimbursed for their inconvenience. Like that would ever happen north of Barrie.
Toronto city staff is keeping track of the racoons though. They have statistics that show over the past few years an average of 5,000 racoons died or were euthanized – their word for putting down the ravaging beasts. City staff will be making a report to council in the spring as to what to do about the racoons. They may also add a section on squirrels, segregated by colour – black, grey or those nasty little red ones. There was no mention of rats. City staff has the Canada Goose problem under control and they assured the Mayor, racoons would not be a problem.
The thing is that Torontonians are missing a great opportunity here with the racoon. They should be harvesting them. This may present a small learning curve problem since the kind-hearted citizens of the center of the universe are adverse to killing critters, except for their domesticated food supply. Simply using a live trap for the racoons (who will quickly discover how to work the latches on the traps) does not work since they have no place to release the critters. Dump a racoon anywhere south of Barrie and the creature will simply hike back to the city.
What they have to do is harvest the fur. That may require a licence from the MNR to run a trap line along Bloor Street but there is always the black market. Back in the Roaring Twenties, racoon coast were all the rage. Raccoon hats with the tail attached were sold to little Davy Crocketts all across North America. Roadsters sported racoon tails tied to the antenna of every respectable hot rod. That market may be limited now since most cars do not have a decent radio antenna, but surely we could improvise something. If trapping the four-legged bandits does not appeal to the people in the GTA, they could always encourage all those gang bangers to hunt them with their illegal pistols.
There is another opportunity here for the tourist-hunting segment of American Game hunters. A call to the NRA would bring truckloads of hunters north to the city and they would pay big dollars to hunt ‘coon’ with their blue-tick hounds and beagles. Those former spring bear hunt enthusiasts would welcome the chance to hone their hunting skills all along the Don Valley and Humber River and adjoining parklands.
Yes, Mayor Ford, there’s a good platform for you in coming the fall election: Bring back the spring Racoon hunt
