Bottled Water – Election 2008

The debate over bottled water continues to boil. City after city across Canada is banning the sale of bottled water in municipal buildings. School boards across the country are studying the issue. Our local elected officials have safely moved the subject to the back burner, awaiting guidance from scientists, economists, the lobby for the plastic bottle companies, and the Civil Rights coalition for freedom of choice.

Athletes and jocks around the world are switching to bottled water to avoid the contaminants in power drinks in the hope of passing urine tests. The United Church is considering asking its members to boycott the use of bottled water. A priest has been defrocked for using Evian water in the fount. David Suzuki refuses any water except tap water at speaking engagements. Some northern and Native communities need bottled water to enjoy a drink of water free of toxins and things that float and swim. The bottled water question has even been raised as a federal election issue. Where will it all end?

The problem with bottled water comes down to the container – those ubiquitous clear plastic bottles that find their way into everything except the recycle bins. Scare tactics by the environmentalists about re-using the bottles has prompted even more people to throw out the containers instead of filling them with tap water and using them over and over again. Cold, heat and even sunlight can release all sorts of chemicals into the water, so do not re-use the bottles!

But what about the contents? Is the water safer than municipal tap water? Municipalities test tap water daily, but water-bottling plants can apparently go for months without an outside agency testing for purity. You can buy ‘Pure Spring’ water from artesian wells in places like southern Ontario, the Alps or glacier-melts in the Rockies. You can have added delights like ozonized water, carbonated and even re-mineralized bottled water. Fortunately, all the contents of bottled water are quickly recycled in a few hours back to the environment, give or take a few minerals.

We know how our local council feels about bottled water, but where do our Federal parties stand on bottled water?

The Conservatives have yet to announce their plank in their bottled-water election raft, but one can readily assume they will support the manufacturers of plastic bottles as part of the free enterprise system. They will attempt to buy some green votes by requiring all bottled water to trap some carbon dioxide, thus enabling people to use some carbon credits when buying bottled water. This will turn out to be their main issue on the environment. They will adopt the cry of the loon on a northern lake as their call, challenging the Liberal’s twittering of the Newfoundland / Labrador puffin.

For their part, the Liberals will add the 2% back on the GST as their way of fighting the sale of bottled water. The video replay of Bob Rae jumping into a pristine northern lake with Rick Mercer, sans clothes, will be used as aversion advertising for people drinking bottled water. Dion will approve the ad, thinking it kills any chance of Rae stealing his job.

Jack Layton will propose a pipeline from the Arctic to drain off the Global Warming ice melt caused by the Conservatives, Liberals and Everyone Else. The water from the Arctic will be sold in reusable leather wineskins, thus keeping the Alberta beef lobby happy. The Ice-Melt water will be processed in a Unionized plant by the UBWW workers, a new union led by Fizz Hargrove, who is double dipping on his union pension.

Elizabeth May never uses bottled water but will ban it, tax it and ensure that every bottle of water is organic, not processed or enhanced by minerals, ozone or carbon dioxide.

Duceppe will nationalize all water, label it L’eau de Vive and sell it to New York.

As might be expected, it is the affluent who drink more bottled water than the great unwashed. However, it is telling that the more educated the populace, the less they use bottled water. It is a matter of education. Perhaps when we see the true carbon footprint of plastic bottles, their transportation and recycling costs, we may cut back on this needless use of resources. Or perhaps if we compare the cost of a litre of water to that of gasoline, we may think twice and fill up at home.