Rule By Law

Mayor Vic breathed an audible sigh of relief Tuesday evening as the vote was taken on a new bylaw forbidding the feeding of birds in posted areas. However his comment that he was happy that the Mexican students were not present for the discussion, needs reconsideration. I had some empathy for the positions taken by councillors Boldt and Campbell as they tried unsuccessfully to promote an education effort before passing a largely unenforceable fine for a bylaw. That was a chance to see municipal officials in action.

We ought to be a society where we try to educate ourselves as to what is good and bad for us, or in this case, our feathered friends, before we pass a by-law with its encumbered bureaucratic red tape, fines and penalties that forces us to do or not do something harmful to society. It would be much better to have parents educate their duck-feeding children with a sign that explains why they should not feed the birds near the beach (or in a park) than to have them point to a sign that says City Bylaw 123 provides for a $55.00 fine for feeding birds in posted areas.

I can see it now: Little Johnny has been saving the last of his chips for his favourite mallard. As he is about to hand out the snack, Mommy spots the new sign.
“Don’t feed the ducks your chips, Johnny.”
“Why, Mommy?”
“Because it’s against the law.”
“Why?”
“I guess because chips aren’t good for ducks.”
“Are they good for me, Mommy?”
Of course Johnny would get off under the Young Offenders Act unless the City charged Mommy but that’s another can of worms.

It is highly commendable for the Parks people to be worried about the dietary effects of chips and bread on the Mallards’ tummies. Maybe they should just have told the one or two main offenders to switch to cracked corn, but the birds would still poop on our pristine beach. That would be the beach near the Sewage Plant outlet – the one that gets closed every once in a while by the Health Unit.

In a society where obesity is a growing problem with our youngsters, the City might be better served by posting signs at our local fast food outlets saying not to feed the children ‘fast’ food. They could start with the waterfront vendors. Well, maybe not. Many people seem to enjoy a packet of greasy potato chips or fries or a bun filled with chemically disguised mystery meat as they wander along our beautiful waterfront. Just don’t give the scraps to the gulls or ducks. It is not good for them.

The real problem lies not with feeding the birds, but with the birds pooping on the water or beach. I await the next bylaw fining the birds for dropping their waste in a posted no-pooping zone. We could educate the birds to poop off-shore with one of those machines like they have at the North Bay Mall that tells the birds in a loud squawking voice to bugger off to Northgate.

My question now is how do I apply for one of those No-Feeding the Birds signs? Or are they limited to the Waterfront beaches and parks? You see, I have a neighbour who feeds pooping pigeons (rock doves if there are two or less). If we could create a no-feed zone around their house, the pigeons would all go back downtown to do their thing. Somewhere near City Hall would be good.

The other item that caught my attention Tuesday night was the Banker’s comment during the debate on whether to refund the GST to the YMCA. He mentioned the Conservation Authority and then quickly tried to disassociate the YMCA from his comparison with the CA. But he was correct, there is a very obvious comparison.

Part of the Conservation Authority’s problem arose from the failure to collect on the public pledges for the ski hill. The YMCA seems to have had the same problem with pool pledges. People say they will give, perhaps in a moment of weakness or over-zealous community spirit, and then find they just do not have the money to meet their obligation. Not to worry, the City will make up the difference.

The Conservation Authority and the YMCA both have funding problems. My question is what is next? The Regional Health Centre? Apparently the NBRHC has exceeded its goal of public funding, but have they or will they collect all those pledges, or will the City be left holding another partially empty sack? I suppose we could seek assurance from the ‘Auditors’, so long as they aren’t the same ones who did the books at the Conservation Authority.

Maybe we should have a By-law that fines people who do not keep their pledges. That and the fines from the duck-feeders could go into a Reserve Fund. Maybe build up enough money to buy some of those wooden ducks with the whirly-gig wings for our waterfront…