The question I have been asking myself lately is this: Is it too late in my years to wish, hope, and pray for something? Do I have enough time left on this earth for these calls for help or assistance to come to fruition? Because, from past experience, these things – wishes, hopes, and prayers can take an inordinately long time, delayed, I assume, by circumstances far beyond my control.
This idea of wishing for something was ingrained in me from about the age of three or four. There were the appropriate number of candles placed on a birthday anniversary cake – chocolate if I was lucky – fire applied to the wick and then after making a ‘wish’, you would try to blow them out with one breath. Try not to spit when blowing, which became more difficult as the years passed and the number of candles became innumerable.
Nothing happened.
By age six I was advised that you could not tell anyone what you wished for or the wish would not come true. That explained a lot – because inevitably someone would ask what you wished for (promising not to tell anyone else) – and I blabbed away my wish. For my recent birthday, I blew out the symbolic candle (1 candle representing 85 years) but was wise enough not to bother wishing: most of the things I have wished for either came true on their own or were too frivolous to worry over.
Birthday candles aside, the best thing to wish on was a ‘shooting star.’ One had to be out at night, and it worked best in the company of a ‘date’, or later, a significant other. These wishes made on pieces of cosmic dust or small rocks that glowed when burning up in the earth’s atmosphere were usually fruitless but fun to make. Well, there was that one night . . . we were watching the submarine races at Kingston when . . .
The trouble with wishes is the caveat that you must be careful of what you wish for. I remember wishing that Harper would lose the election and look what that got me. I am resolved not to wish for an election result this time. I am just going to hope for a good result.
Hope. That is a word we use when wishing someone felt better because of a recent illness: I hope you are feeling better. Or I hope you are getting over the breakup. I hope you receive a lenient sentence – I hear Judge Smith is getting grouchy about rubber cheques. I had hoped the boys and girls on the new city council could play nice in their sandbox. Hoping and wishing for relationship success is something the individuals themselves must look after. I suppose that applies to well-wishing too: it’s up to the body, pills, injections, and an exercise regimen – not hopes. I hope my physician is not reading this.
My friend says ‘hope’ is an expectation that someone else will do something that you yourself seem incapable or unwilling to do. Hoping that the Donald does not become Prez again is a legitimate ‘hope’ because I cannot vote in the US, whereas hoping that bleep-bleep doesn’t get elected here again is useless unless I actually get to the polls and vote.
Too often, I think, wishing and hoping are a cop-out for one’s inaction. Telling a friend you hope they are feeling better is no substitution for a hug. On second thought, unless it is a close friend, you had better ask permission before hugging them. Those new rules sure make a difference.
Sometimes what we wish and hope for are beyond even our realistic expectations. That is why we elect governments in a democracy. The government has the power and authority (on our behalf) to hire soldiers, police, and firefighters; to provide health and education; to barter for trade policies, make treaties with other countries where we can vacation, and build arenas for sports that compete with the ancient Coliseum in Rome.
Failing wishes and hopes, those so inclined can always turn to prayer. Noting that nothing succeeds or fails like prayer (see lyrics for the song on the web) this is the last resort in the wishing, hoping, praying trilogy. This act of praying for a result that we have admitted is beyond our influence presupposes that you believe some being is listening and they are going to pick up. However, like the caution of being careful what you wish for, you should be prepared for a ‘no’ answer to your prayer.
And so, I wish that Russia would leave Ukraine; I wish that the mess in Gaza had never started; I hope that we can get the lack of housing here in Canada straightened out, and I pray that the Americans don’t screw up in November. I know that I should be doing something instead of wishing, hoping, and praying but truthfully, I do not know what to do.
This may fall into the ‘preordained’ category of our history and future.
Karma or fate, some call it. Or the resignation that sometimes bad things just happen. But do not be discouraged: the very act of wishing, hoping, and praying is likely good for us. Mentally and physically – for feeling a sense of having tried to do something is all we need to put worries behind us. Ignore the challenges of ‘put up or shut up’ and ‘put your money where your mouth is’ for those are just the wishes of people who hope for other things.
And I do sincerely wish that you have a good day – despite the weather, politics, and the ever-rising price of groceries.
