Entitlements

I thought my reoccurring nightmare of hearing Jean Chrétien and his “A proof is a proof is a proof. If I have a proof, I don’t need a proof of a proof. A proof of a proof is proof!” was over until David Dingwall took his place at the hearing table in Ottawa. “An entitlement is an entitlement. If I have an entitlement, I am entitled to that entitlement. An entitlement is an entitlement!” Did these guys go to public school together or are these scripted replies in an old Liberal media relations handbook?

The problem is that both Chrétien and Dingwall are correct. It is the pedantic delivery of their explanations that begins to chafe the taxpayers - do you stupid people not understand that a severance entitlement means I am entitled to a golden parachute even though I quit my job at the Royal Canadian Mint? I guess most of us were never in that enviable position. How does one get a contract like that? Lose an election and have the Prime Minister appoint you to a good job?

It may be that in the private sector, high-calibre executives can bargain for severance packages because they bring attractive talents to a job. The Board of Directors of those private companies know well in advance what this may cost them and they weigh the pros and cons of signing such a deal. It all comes off the bottom line and is calculated into the cost of doing business.

Many of us have complained about government not running the country in a business-like manner, so perhaps we ought to step back and consider what a crown corporation like the Mint did in ‘hiring’ Dingwall. Although they literally have a license to print money, the Mint was having cost-related problems. They needed a new direction from the top and the Board was given David Dingwall as the man to fix the Mint.

Dingwall, of course came highly recommended by his Liberal buddies, having been the Minister in charge of Public Works. Not that his name has come up in the Gomery inquiry, but he was at the helm during that period when the cheques were being cut. At the time, it looked like his department was running a successful sponsorship ad campaign to keep Quebecers happily within the fold of Canada. A well-paying job at a Crown Corporation is a fitting top-up for a MP’s pension. That is, he was entitled to something more for all his years serving the Canadian public. Besides, keeping one within the Family circle might ensure that no tales were told out of school.

That Dingwall did a good job at the Mint is not up for question just yet. After all, he either came up with the idea for a $5 coin or he turned it down. Canadian pockets would have needed special reinforcements if our money got any heavier. Thankfully, our $50 and $100 bills are so widely accepted that a person does not have to carry around a pocket full of small change.

The auditors will most likely find that Dingwall has properly filled out his expense reports, after all, he was on the public purse for many years and he ought to know how to bilk us using all the correct forms and terms. The problem then lies with his bosses. Did they set the expense guidelines for Spear-a-Mint chewing gum and first-class travel?

Image is important for a prestigious position such as President of the Royal Canadian Mint. You cannot blame Dingwall for wanting to present as equally impressive public face as his competitors who print our colourful Canadian money. My Uncle Harry was a snappy dresser and always drove a Lincoln until they caught him.

Of course, being President and CEO, Dingwall would have few employees working at his Mint office who would dare question his expenses (which he said he simply threw on the desk and told some clerk to sort out). You can understand how that works, can’t you? Surely the boss is entitled to cokes and chewing gum along with his golf and auto expenses?

At the end of the day, as we are wont to say, we will have accepted that Dingwall acted just as we would expect a crown/public employee or politician to act. The proper spin will have been applied and we will have been entertained and distracted for a few more weeks when our government ought to have been attending to more important issues like health, education and housing for the poor and homeless.

For surely we are all entitled to an education, health care and a place to lay our heads after a day at work. A package of chewing gum would be nice, too.